


She doesn't love me back, does she ?

by Insula_Girnd



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26181175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insula_Girnd/pseuds/Insula_Girnd
Summary: It doesn't happen at a specific moment but the first curse is broke so the characters know who they are.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

I must be crazy. I can’t like her. I sighed, I’ve been in denial for too long. Now I couldn’t tell myself I hated her anymore. 

Well, I never hated her, but I for sure did not like her before I began liking her. 

This makes no sense. I know she hates me. And everybody hates her. How come the person she loathes the most is the only one who likes her ? I sighed again, feeling a headache growing. But I didn’t want to stop thinking about it until I understood fully what were… my feelings.

I frowned and sat down on the couch. It felt weird calling it “feelings”. I often wondered if I liked her in a non-romantical way, like a mother, or if I just wanted her to be my friend. But I knew, deep down, that it was more than that.

I also wondered if I was a masochist. I mean, she tried to kill me so many times. She killed so many innocents. And she was always so mean with me, even as Regina. Well, she remembered the Enchanted Forest and everyone, but I’m sure Regina was different. She had to play a role, this surely affected her. I know I am chasing a dream, because neither Regina nor the Evil Queen like me. I’m not sure she even tolerates me.

I like and hate the fact that I’m comforted with false hope. I hope from the bottom of my heart that her obsession for me means something. That the fact that she enjoys torturing me means something. If I'm a masochist and she’s a sadist, a link can be made. And I despise myself when I think about that. I’m not even a masochist, not that I know about.

My thoughts are interrupted as Henry barges in and speaks so fast I don’t understand a thing. I stand up and soon I see Emma catching up with Henry. 

“Regina. She’s been cursed. The sleeping curse.”

I sit down as I start breathing hard but Emma puts her hand on my arm.

“That’s not all. Everyone in Storybrooke wants her dead, they want to kill her in her sleep. I know you have history but you are kind. And I don’t know what to do.”

I stood up and urged Emma and Henry to lead me to her. We went to the town hall where I found Charming trying to calm angry people at the front door. He saw me and allowed me to enter and I ran to her office. 

She’s lying on the floor and I call Emma to help me at least move her on the couch. 

“Who did that ?” I try not to cry in front of Emma.

“We don’t know yet. But we need someone to protect her here, someone who can reason with the others if someone breaks through.”

I nod and Emma’s gone. I’m left alone with Regina. I sit in the chair in front of the couch, trying to keep my distances with her. I feel threatened, even if she’s asleep.

Apparently I can’t listen to my own instincts because soon I’m on my knees near her. I caress her face as I feel tears sliding down my cheeks.

Then I have a terrible idea. 

A true love’s kiss.

Nobody was here to judge me, and with it I’ll be set. If she wakes up, we’ll live happily ever after - I roll my eyes at my own thought - and if she doesn’t she’ll never know. Nobody will know, and I will stop thinking about her.

I can’t have the time to think about how bad this is because when I watch her face, I just see that she’s beautiful, and for the first time, I see her not angry at me. So I draw my face closer and put my lips on hers.

I move back to see if anything happens. Nothing. I wait to see if this kind of thing takes a while to work. Still nothing. I stood up quickly and sat back on the chair. I felt guilty and very uncomfortable.

But I didn’t want to cry anymore. It was over now. I focused on the task I was assigned to not think about the mixed feelings I had right now. It was easier than I thought because I felt empty. It's not like I felt nothing, quite the opposite. I felt so many things at once that I blocked it all and stared at the door. Ready if someone entered.

***

I didn’t remember how, but everything was fixed. Henry woke Regina. We somehow found who cursed her but I was too numb to remember who did it. I had told myself that I would not think about her if I had the confirmation she didn’t like me. But it was so hard. I kept crying at night. I kept thinking of her red lips whenever I saw apples. I kept cringing when I heard her voice. 

I don’t know which was worse, knowing or not knowing. I think I liked it more when I had hope. When I didn’t kiss her because I was so scared when I saw her. I wasn’t scared that she would try to kill me or hurt me. I was scared that she knew. That’s impossible of course but the sole idea of her knowing I took advantage of the situation. She could blackmail me, or tell everyone, or just laugh at me. 

I couldn't look her in the eyes anymore. I walked away whenever I saw her. And when I couldn’t, I would be truly awkward, I didn’t even know it was possible to be this awkward. I would mumble or laugh awkwardly.

I wish I wasn’t a masochist. I wish I didn’t kiss her. I wish I didn’t know. No… I wish I didn’t love her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one will be Regina POV. Enjoy !

Something was definitely wrong with Snow White. She was extremely awkward whenever I was around. But not her usual awkward. She’s always been weird and fearful during our encounters; but this was different.

She would avoid my gaze and get away from me as soon as she could. When I think about it, I wonder if I’m imagining things because it sounds like a Snow behavior. Or at least a Mary Margaret one, that’s for sure.

But I’m pretty sure I’m not mistaken. The way she's been acting has been weird ever since the sleeping curse. Did something happen ? The only thing I knew was that she was there to keep an eye on me, to protect me.

Why would she even do that ? She could have killed me or let me be killed. I guess she’s too weak for that. And she’s a hero so she’s always wanted to do “the right thing”. I just wished to know if she was assigned my protection or if she volunteered.

I scoffed at myself. Why was I even thinking about this ? Like I would care anyway. And it’s not like I see Snow White often so it doesn’t matter. I sighed and got back to work.

After finishing some mayor work, I decided to go to Granny’s to grab some food. When I got there, I saw White and Charming eating at a booth.

Everything was normal until Snow noticed me. She tensed as she observed me for a few more seconds than necessary. She then avoided my gaze and continued her discussion with Charming. But she was now fidgeting with the hem of her blouse.

I rolled my eyes and went to the counter to order some food. Once I had it, I sat down at a booth and was relieved because Awkward-Snow was no longer in my line of sight. I couldn't stand her when she was like this. I already couldn’t stand her when she’s her “normal” self so… Yeah, she’s unbearable right now.

At least I have confirmation that it’s not her normal behavior. It cannot be. Something must have happened. 

I want to know what happened.

***

When I got home, I texted her asking her to come over to my house tomorrow to have a discussion. Her answer was brief, only asking when she should arrive. I told her at 2PM and she simply texted back an “ok”.

I guess she knows what we’re going to talk about. 

***

I heard a knock at my door a little before 2. I took a breath and opened my door to a very shy Snow White. She looked up at me and I simply moved aside, inviting her in. I then offered her a seat on the couch and gave her a glass of water as I sat down opposite to her..

“What did you say to Charming?”

“That you wanted us to talk.”

“He didn’t say anything?”

“Just to not eat any apples”

I smirked and she shifted uncomfortably. I relaxed on my couch. I was clearly in an advantageous position here and feeling superior was reassuring me, it was familiar..

I didn’t know where to start so instead, I just opted to stare at her. She wouldn't meet my gaze though. What a surprise. I was glad she didn’t ask why she was here. 

The silence was growing louder. I had to engage the conversation.

“You have been acting weird since the sleeping cure incident. Weirder than usual, I mean. Tell me what’s going on.” I inwardly cringed a bit at that, knowing that it had sounded more kind and caring than I had intended..

But she didn’t seem to notice because as soon as I spoke up she tensed. She was watching her hands on her knees. And when she didn’t look at them, the highest she could raise her gaze was the untouched glass of water I had previously placed on the low table in front of her. Her eyes would drift back on her hands as soon as she tried looking elsewhere.

I wanted to scream. I was about to speak again but I saw, even with her head lowered, her mouth opening and closing. So I let her choose her words as carefully as she wanted to. I crossed my legs and waited. The movement drew her attention and she looked at me, our gazes met for the first time since she was there.

I lifted an eyebrow to invite her to continue but she shook her head, “I can’t tell you.”

I gritted my teeth, “Come on, I didn’t invite you here to watch you torture yourself inside of that little head of yours,.” Once again I felt that the phrasing was too nice. I need to watch my words.

She sighed and her mouth becan to gape open and closed again like a fish. I understood now that not only she was choosing her words, she was also deciding whether or not to tell me what was on her mind at all.

Everytime she closed her mouth I saw how much she was conflicted deep inside. Moments passed and she remained silent so I decided to give her a little push.

I stood up and sat down next to her. I placed my hand on her arm, “You can tell me.”

Too nice again. 

She began lowering her head once more so I brought my free hand up to her chin, forcing her to look at me, and tried to give her an encouraging smile.

That drew her attention. She looked at my smile then my eyes again. But now her eyes wouldn’t stop switching between the two. She was fighting it, I saw that, she didn’t want to look at my mouth.

What if I just went for it ? I frowned and drew her face closer. I kissed her. Once. Just to make sure she wanted it.

She did. Apparently one kiss wasn’t enough for her. She closed the gap between our mouths only a second after I pulled away and soon, I felt both her hands on my nape. I returned the kiss, still frowning and eyes open. She had closed hers so I followed suit. Suddenly I felt the urge to wrap my hands around her, but instead I put them between us.

Just what the hell was happening ? I pushed her away slowly and she didn’t resist. She was now blushing and she took a moment to digest what had just happened.

I didn’t know what to say so I just stayed silent for a while. We were staring at each other, apparently both confused. But her body moved back slightly and she frowned, “No.”

I frowned even more, “What ?”

“Why did you kiss me ?”

I didn’t know what to respond with, the truth was I didn’t really have an answer

“You seemed like you wanted to kiss me so I kissed you. To see if it was true.”

“But you kissed back when I-” she paused, embarrassed, “when I kissed you.”

“So what ?”

“You can’t.”

“Ok, you have to explain yourself here, what the hell is your point ?”

“The sleeping curse.”

Why was she bringing that up ? Oh right. I almost forgot that that was the reason for her being here in the first place. She began acting weird after Henry woke me up.

That’s when the realisation struck me. Henry woke me up. But she was keeping an eye on me before that happened. Did she… Did she try to wake me ? That would be kinda cute. 

I smiled a little, “Did you try to wake me ?”

She just nodded and looked away. She looked sad and ashamed.

I didn’t wake up.

“Please don’t go and kiss me if you don’t love me, I don’t want to be toyed around with.”

I understood now. Everything. Why she was all weird and awkward.

“Listen, Snow, I don’t get a happy ending. I don’t let my feelings grow because I know there will always be doom awaiting me. You however, are a hero. You have Charming. I can’t allow myself to grow feelings towards someone like you.”

I blushed a bit. I felt like this one kiss had been enough to spark something in my heart, though. But I can’t let her have hope. It was true that I buried my feelings and that there was no hope in me getting a happily ever after. 

“I don’t understand... You ask me to come here, then you kiss me, then you reject me. Why would you do something so mean ?”

I sighed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I thought she was going to continue debating but she whispered a sentence that made my heart jump, “Charming knows.”

“What ?”

“He knew something was going on with me, I acted too obviously, apparently. So I told him.”

I hadn't expected that.

She continued, “He told me that he wanted me to be happy and that he couldn't bear the thought of him being unable to do so. Today, he was the one to push me to come. He wanted me to “try”. He said I could come back to him if it didn’t work out.”

I was a bit confused by the fact that he pushed her even if she didn’t wake me during the sleeping curse but then, I remembered. Heros always try.

I smiled a bit and got closer to Snow, “Is it ok if I want to kiss you again then?”

She looked at me, unsure, then let a smile flourish on her face. A tear slid down her cheek as she caressed my cheeks, slowly. I could sense that she was still unsure. I wanted her to be sure. 

I kissed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t worry, Charming has Hook hihi


End file.
